Clean Slate

Been reading a lively discussion lately over at Jim Paredes' blog (via his daughter's post), triggered by a tactless, tabloid-style piece written by Gerry Lirio for the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

I commented that the article was an example of classic Filipino crab mentality, a tired, but surprisingly apt cliche to describe most Filipinos' irrational desire to bring down his countrymen when they seem to be enjoying a particularly high level of success or happiness in their lives. It's sourgraping pressed to extremes, destroying long-standing friendships and familial relations in a single blow.

For a long time, I attributed this Filipino behavior to poverty. Living hand-to-mouth everyday is more than enough to form a callous of cynicism and jadedness around anyone's spirit. And seeing somebody getting out of the vicious cycle of poverty and crime triggers desperation and a sense of loss; it's hard to be happy for someone who is headed to a better life when it seems that he is no more deserving of good fortune than you are.

I can't reconcile this kind of behavior among the middle-class and elite Filipinos, though, who are clearly not lacking in the basic necessities and can afford to indulge in personal luxuries. If you're in the middle-to-upper echelons of society, why the need to malign and scoff at another's achievements and successes when you have the resources to be a success in your own way?

Filipinos are generally seen as open, friendly and communal people. We eat together, pray together, sing together, live together up to the third degree of consanguinity. But the more I think about the behavior or my own relatives towards each other; the more I observe the dynamics of friendships, office politics and community organizations in the Philippines, the more I see a kind of veiled individualism among Filipinos.

It seems unlikely that Filipinos, who seem to crave company for every activity, would be individualistic. But by definition, being individualistic is looking out primarily for Number One. And from strict personal observation, I can say that this is the major driving force behind much of the crab mentality I've seen (and experienced) among family and friends.

Which leads me to think that maybe the masses band together not because of a sense of community or desire for companionship, but primarily for sheer personal advantage.

Like in animal herds, there's safety in numbers; there's validation in seeing many suffer daily like yourself. And maybe their failures will distract from your own faults, like bad decisions, addictions or unwillingness to change.

I don't buy the Filipino sense of bayanihan anymore. It's an outmoded sociological trend that I personally haven't witnessed in my lifetime. The so-called bayanihan efforts I've seen have been either political media stunts or gimmicks by networks concerned only about ratings.

Filipinos hate to be alone. But push comes to shove, they will bolt for as petty a reason as saving face. Usually, Pinoys will suddenly have nothing to do with a kumare or kumpare if it means risking their reputation. Worse, there are one too many cases of Filipinos fanning the flames of hostility towards people who used to be their closest friends, if it gives them an edge over them in business or social standing.

For all their warmth and friendliness, Filipino communities are generally a landmine of social ills; mini-versions of the state of the country. We're close-knit in the sense that we want to make sure that no one outside our family makes us feel insecure or look bad by -- God forbid -- making something of themselves through hardwork and perseverance. We're united as long as everyone is equally miserable or equally obscure.

And woe is the handful of Filipinos who even try to improve their situation or make the country a better place (like the Paredeses)! Because the herd will make sure you almost never get out of this community where you belong.